Im pretty down to earth, i like stay home hanging out to sleeping the world. Waiting for open friehds waiting FOR A WOMEN waiting FOR SAME THING. A real cougar.
If you loved me you would have put in more effort to understand me not given up and pushed me away until I broke again. Cute, single, looking I have a passion for the arts and really enjoy painting, drawing and going to museums. I am seeking one hot bitch, similarly minded,to get nasty with. like facial and ass hair Men with facial hair have always struck my interest.
A fairly common social issue people have is that they're not sure how to make friends and put together a social life for themselves. There are quite a few ways someone can find themselves in this situation: They've moved to a new city and don't know very many people yet. They've been in a long-term relationship and have let their social life wither. Their old friends have slowly been dropping out of the picture moving away, busy with work or a new family, etc.
A large chunk of their social circle disappeared overnight, like everyone graduated from university and most of their friends moved out of the city. They feel like they've grown apart from their current friends and want to make entirely new ones. In the past they were happy being alone a lot of the time, but now they want to be around people more often. They never really knew how to make friends and have always wished their social lives were better. They've recently made a big lifestyle change such as deciding not to drink anymore, and need to develop a new social circle that's more suited to it.
Below are my thoughts on how to make friends. I'll cover a basic structure first, then go into some attitudes and principles towards the whole thing that I think are important.
I've noticed people who are already good at making friends naturally tend to do most of the things I outline below. Here are the basic steps to making friends. It seems simplistic, but there can be a lot to each point.
People who struggle with their social lives often stumble on one or more of them as well. To make friends you first have to find some possible candidates. There are two main ways to do this: Draw on your current contacts This won't apply to people who have just moved to a new area and don't know anyone, but often you'll already have the seeds of a social life around you. You don't necessarily have to go out and meet ten strangers to have one.
It's often easier to turn existing contacts into full-fledged friends than it is to meet new ones. There are probably a handful of people you already know who could end up becoming part of a new social circle. I'm talking about people like: Acquaintances you're friendly with when you run into each other, but who you never see otherwise.
People at work or in your classes who you get along with. Friends of people you know who you've gotten along with in the past. Someone who has shown an interest in being your friend but you never really took up the offer. People you very occasionally hang out with, who you could see more often.
Friends you've gradually lost contact with who you could get back in touch with. For some people, cousins who are close to your age. Meet some new people Getting more out of your current relationships can go a long way, but it doesn't always work. Sometimes you're at a point where you need to meet entirely new people.
Not having easy access to potential new friends is a big barrier for many people in creating a social circle. I go into more detail here: Places To Meet People. Overall, I'd say the easiest things to do are: Get into hobbies or communities where you'll naturally meet a lot of people you already have something in common with. Even better if it involves an activity that facilitates conversation.
Meet people through school or your job. You'll see the same faces day after day, and can get to know them in a more gradual, low-pressure way. Meet one or two people you click with, and then get to know their friends. If you hang out with fifteen people, you shouldn't have to have met them all individually.
Overall, meeting new people may require making an effort to pull out of your day-to-day routine. If most of your hobbies are solitary you might also need to add some more people-oriented ones to the mix.
Also, the easiest way to naturally meet a lot of people is just to live a full, interesting life and run into lots of potential friends as a side effect. Once you're in a situation with some prospective friends around, you need to strike up conversations and try to get to know them.
You won't form a connection with everyone you interact with, but if you chat to enough people you'll find you like and get along pretty well with some of them. Once you've done that you could say you're now at the Friendly Acquaintance stage, or that they're context-specific contacts e. If you have trouble with successfully meeting, chatting to, and getting to know people, you may want to check out the site's sections on shyness, fears, and insecurity and on making conversation.
Invite potential friends to do something with you Once you've met those people you seem to be clicking with, ask them to hang out and do something outside of the situation you met them in. This is the most important step in my experience. You can meet all the people you want, and they can think you're great, but if you don't take any actions to do something with them in the future, then you won't form many new relationships.
People will stay as the guy you talk to in class, or the girl you chat to at work in the break room. This seems basic, but lonelier people often hit a wall here. There may be someone they joke around with at work, or chat to in one of their classes, but they won't take the step of inviting them out and taking the relationship to the next level, and beyond the acquaintance stage.
If you're on the shyer side, you might be a little hesitant to invite people out. While it is a little scary at first, and there is some risk of rejection, it's fairly easy to get used to. It's not nearly as bad as asking someone out on a date, for example. Depending on how you met them, you may invite someone to hang out fairly quickly or wait a few weeks.
For example, if a friend brings one of their buddies along to have drinks with you one day, and you spent four hours together and hit it off from the start, you may be totally comfortable asking them to hang out again right away. On the other hand, if you seem to mesh with someone at your job, but can only have short conversations with them here and there, it may be a month before you feel ready to invite them out.
If you're not sure how to ask someone to do something with you, you could check out this article:. It's a good idea to get into the habit of getting people's contact info fairly early. You may meet someone interesting, but you can never assume you're going to see them around again anytime soon. Ask for their phone number or email address, or see if they're on whatever social networks are big in your area.
That way if an opportunity to get together comes up, they'll be easy to reach. Also, if they have your info, then they can get a hold of you if they want to invite you to something.
To hang out with someone you've got to plan it. Sometimes the process is straightforward. You ask them if they want do something, they agree, and you set a time and place.
At other times trying to nail down a plan can be tedious and unpredictable, especially when more than one other person is involved. It helps to accept that this is just an area where there's always going to be an amount of uncertainty, and you can't control everything.
If inviting people out and arranging plans all seems like a big hassle, it also probably feels that way for everyone else at times. They shouldn't always have to step up and organize things for you.
Do some of the lifting yourself when you need to. Of course, making your own plans is important, but if someone asks you to hang out, even better. If you get invited to do something, strongly consider going.
I won't tell you have to force yourself to say 'yes' to absolutely everything. Like if you're certain you'll dislike an activity, or it's way outside your comfort zone, or that's the only time you have to study for a big exam, it's okay to decline.
However, if you're only a little unsure, give it a chance. Why turn down a free chance to get out there with people? When you've got more friends and different options competing for your time you can be more choosy. If you're more of a shy or solitary person it's easy to mull over an invite and rationalize that it won't be that fun and that you shouldn't go.
Try to push past those thoughts and go anyway. You often can't be sure how enjoyable something will be until you show up and see for yourself. Sometimes you'll have to inconvenience yourself for the sake of your social life.
You may get invited to a movie you only half want to see, or someone might call you up on Friday evening as you're about to go to bed, asking if you want to go out.
Whenever you have two or more people in the equation, you're going to have to compromise sometimes. Again, just being out there outweighs these minor annoyances.
Another thing to consider is that many people will stop inviting someone out to things if they decline too often. They may have nothing against the person, but the next time they're planning an event will think, "Paul never comes out when I ask him, so no point in letting him know this time really.
It's one thing to hang out with someone once, or only occasionally. You could consider them a friend of sorts at that point. For that particular person maybe that's all you need in a relationship with them, someone you're casually friendly with and who you see every now and then. However, for someone to become a closer, more regular friend you need hang out fairly often, keep in touch, enjoy good times together, and get to know each other on a deeper level. You won't have the compatibility to do this with everyone, but over time you should be able to build a tighter relationship with some of the people you meet.
Once you've made a regular friend or two you've also got a good base to work from. If you're not super social in nature, one or two good buddies may be all you need to be happy. At the very least, if you were feeling lonely and desperate before, having a relationship or two should be enough to take those feelings away./p>
I know that because I can feel the warmth from all of you whether in your emails, comments, or messages. A friendship is about both you and the other person. Get to know the person as an individual.
What defines the friendship is the connection between you and the friend. Show warmth, love, and respect toward everyone you meet. Care for them like you would yourself. If you approach others with genuinity, you will attract people who want to connect genuinely.
Among them will be your future true friends. Why do I say that? Say you make many new friends by being vocal and brassy. So, just be yourself. The truest friendships are built with both parties accepting each other for who they are. A friendship is a supportive union between two people. Be there for your friends where you can. Does any of your friends need help currently?
Is there anything you can help them with? How can you better support them? Treat them with emotional generosity. Give because you want to, not because you feel obliged to. I find that the satisfaction I get from helping others and knowing they are better off is a reward greater than anything I can get in return.
At the end of the day, continual effort is required to maintain the friendship. Willingness to make the effort is what differentiates great friends from hi-bye friends. Ask your friends out every once in a while. The strength of your relationship is not measured by how frequently you meet. For some of my best friends, we meet only once every few months. If both of you have your own set of engagements, it may be hard to find time together. Arrange for a simple meetup, say over lunch, tea, or dinner time.
Talk about your interests and hobbies. Share a little bit about your background with new friends. If you are a unique person, then show it.
People love to be around someone who makes them laugh. If you have a quirky, different style of humor then make sure you let them know that the things you say are in fact a joke. This way you don't just come across as simply weird. It will also help them understand a bit more about you too, which could potentially spark their interest. Many people oftentimes lose contact with their friends because they're either too busy, or just don't value their friends enough.
When you lose connection with a friend, the friendship may fizzle out. And when you do try to contact them again, it can be hard to rekindle the friendship.
Make time and share your life with them. Be respectful of their decisions and share yours with him. Strive to keep in contact over time. Choose your friends wisely. As you befriend more people, you may find that some are easier to get along with than others.
While you should always give people the benefit of the doubt, sometimes you may realize that certain friendships are unhealthy , such as if a person is obsessively needy or controlling towards you, constantly critical, or introducing dangers or threats into your life. If this is the case, ease your way out of the friendship as gracefully as possible.
Cherish those friends you make who are a positive influence in your life, and do your best to be a positive influence in theirs. How do you make friends when you are worried about what they will think of you? Second, you cannot control what others think of you. Third, what they think of you is their business, not yours.
Fourth, even if you know what they think about you, there is nothing you can do about it anyway. Not Helpful 6 Helpful If someone asks to be my friend, but I already have friends, what do I say? You can never have too many friends. That person obviously needs a friend and it won't hurt you to be nice to them. Maybe if you get know them better, you'll find you have a lot in common! Not Helpful 7 Helpful Try not to think about what they will think of you.
Also, consider talking about something you are familiar with; this will make the conversation more comfortable for you. Lastly, you can always let the other person talk and listen to them; some people love to talk and need good listeners. Not Helpful Helpful Those people don't even know you. There is an old saying that says: Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.
Not Helpful 48 Helpful Try to solve things first, ask to talk to them to see if they will tell you why they are mad. If they won't tell you, won't talk, or even walk away, you could try at a different time or just let it be but be friendly every time you meet.
Over time, their animosity may decrease when they realize that you're determined to always be friendly. Find your inner courage and be observant rather than in denial. Friendships don't always last the test of time, new people, romantic interests, and other changes. If your friend really is pulling away, you can suggest a fireside chat to try to work things out together. But if your friend doesn't want to be in the friendship anymore, treasure what you had and start to look for new friends.
Not Helpful 76 Helpful Perhaps it is only some people who think that you're rude, so you could try to be friends with other people. If you have difficulty with social interactions for any reason, this may be coming across as rudeness and you could explain your problem so that others see that you're not being rude on purpose. Take it slowly, rather than barging in and taking over conversations or activities; let people observe that you're a great person and worth getting to know.
Not Helpful 74 Helpful If they don't like you, then they're not friend material. When you approach them, be yourself, not who they want you to be. If you're slightly weird, then try to be decently normal the first meeting, but you can't go through your relationship as another person. You have to reveal yourself after a while and the friends you can rely on will accept you as you are.
Not Helpful 49 Helpful Don't think down about yourself! The more you think this way about yourself, the more you convince yourself it's true. Develop confidence and keep your head high. And most of all, tell yourself you are beautiful. The more you do this the more you believe it, and eventually you'll start seeing your beauty shine.
I've never really been the type to fit in or have a solid group of friends, especially girls. How would I go about making friends like that and for once feeling like I got in? You're not alone, there are many people who find a "solid group of friends" to be an elusive thing.
Don't fret, it is normal for many. Be yourself, and don't try to be like them. Always approach people with a smile. Talk to them, ask them if you can join them. And don't exhaust yourself worrying about the solid friendship thing -- find one or two really good friends and be happy with them. Not Helpful 13 Helpful Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Already answered Not a question Bad question Other.
How to Make Friends. Did this video help you? Tips You only have one chance to make a first impression. Get to know them and let them ask questions about you! Be there for them when they need it. Friends are the people you can rely on when the going gets tough. You don't have to be a superstar to be fun. Try to be positive and friendly so that people feel good and appreciated when they're around you. Get to know that person's other friends and family.
Think about what you say, before you say it. Close friends may become hurt or offended when you speak recklessly. Be helpful to them. Behave in such a manner that they will like to spend time with you. Treat your friends like you want to be treated. Don't make the conversation just about you, ask what they think. Just be yourself, and don't act like someone you are not. If someone is new in the work or class, go to them and talk to them When there's a new kid, that's one opportunity to make a friend, because they likely don't know that many people, so go get them while you have the chance.
If you see someone by themselves this is a good chance to make a new friend. If someone rejects you try to get over it and think of it as positive to improve your self. Be willing to share some of your struggles past or present - no one wants to be around someone they feel is a perfect person with a perfect family, perfect job, etc.
When in a conversation, try talking less about yourself, and more about them. This will make them think you are interested in what other people have to say, initiating the fact that you are a good friend. Have confidence in yourself! The lack of self esteem can really throw you off. Always be kind and never judge someone by the way they look, do this and you will make some wonderful friendships.
Treat others the way you want to be treated. Warnings Never abandon an old friend because you like someone else more. Never disrespect them; they will lose respect for you. If you feel uncomfortable with that person, try someone that is more your type of a friend. Don't annoy them; they might stop liking you. Don't be cocky about making new friends. You could easily lose them with this attitude. If you ever get in a fight never say it's the other person's fault.
Be the better person. Made Recently View more 14 total. Add a photo Upload error. Tell us more about it? Click here to share your story. Time 60 Score 0.
A Anonymous Jun I'm really shy in real life and don't know what to say to people when they talk to me. A Anonymous May KS Konishka Sarkar May 5. One day on a holiday I searched to wikiHow to make a friend. The tips really helped me, and I got a new friend because of them. I really like it. A Anonymous Apr It didn't help that I moved in the middle of the school year!
I read this article and realized that I need to listen more and talk less. MJ Mica Jones Jul 18, As a married woman, I'm not actually allowed to have friends, male or female. TP Tiana Pere Oct 23, Thanks be to God that wikiHow posts these sort of things.
WW Wilmer Wong Mar 4, But when I read the one about maintaining friendship, it helped me a lot. KM Karen Mallory Jan
Here are the basic steps to making friends. It seems simplistic, but there can be a lot to each point. People who struggle with their social lives often stumble on. How to Make New Friends at School. Everyone wants to be appreciated and accepted. Having friends can boost your mood and. Still, making friends as an adult can be hard, and takes time – last week a study from the University of Kansas found that two people need to.