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Sexuality in ancient Rome, and more broadly, sexual attitudes and behaviors in ancient Rome, are indicated by Roman art , literature and inscriptions , and to a lesser extent by archaeological remains such as erotic artifacts and architecture.

In the popular imagination and culture, it is synonymous with sexual license and abuse. But sexuality was not excluded as a concern of the mos maiorum , the traditional social norms that affected public, private, and military life. Roman society was patriarchal see paterfamilias , and masculinity was premised on a capacity for governing oneself and others of lower status, not only in war and politics, but also in sexual relations. The corresponding ideal for a woman was pudicitia , often translated as chastity or modesty, but a more positive and even competitive personal quality that displayed both her attractiveness and self-control.

Visual art was created by those of lower social status and of a greater range of ethnicity, but was tailored to the taste and inclinations of those wealthy enough to afford it, including, in the Imperial era , former slaves. Some sexual attitudes and behaviors in ancient Roman culture differ markedly from those in later Western societies.

Prostitution was legal, public, and widespread. While perceived effeminacy was denounced, especially in political rhetoric, sex in moderation with male prostitutes or slaves was not regarded as improper or vitiating to masculinity, if the male citizen took the active and not the receptive role. Hypersexuality , however, was condemned morally and medically in both men and women. Women were held to a stricter moral code, [18] and same-sex relations between women are poorly documented, but the sexuality of women is variously celebrated or reviled throughout Latin literature.

In general the Romans had more flexible gender categories than the ancient Greeks. A late 20th-century paradigm analyzed Roman sexuality in terms of a "penetrator—penetrated" binary model , a misleadingly rigid analysis that may obscure expressions of sexuality among individual Romans. Ancient literature pertaining to Roman sexuality falls mainly into four categories: Information about the sex lives of the Romans is scattered in historiography , oratory , philosophy, and writings on medicine , agriculture , and other technical topics.

Major Latin authors whose works contribute significantly to an understanding of Roman sexuality include:. Ovid lists a number of writers known for salacious material whose works are now lost. Ovid calls the book a collection of misdeeds crimina , and says the narrative was laced with dirty jokes.

Erotic art, especially as preserved in Pompeii and Herculaneum , is a rich if not unambiguous source; some images contradict sexual preferences stressed in literary sources and may be intended to provoke laughter or challenge conventional attitudes. Just as venerable figures of men, painted by the hand of an artist, are resplendent in our houses, so too there is a small painting tabella [34] in some spot which depicts various couplings and sexual positions: The pornographic tabella and the erotically charged Venus appear among various images that a connoisseur of art might enjoy.

In the 2nd century AD, "there is a boom in texts about sex in Greek and Latin," along with romance novels. In the 3rd century, celibacy had become an ideal among the growing number of Christians, and Church Fathers such as Tertullian and Clement of Alexandria debated whether even marital sex should be permitted for procreation.

The sexuality of martyrology focuses on tests against the Christian's chastity [40] and sexual torture; Christian women are more often than men subjected to sexual mutilation, in particular of the breasts. Like other aspects of Roman life, sexuality was supported and regulated by religious traditions , both the public cult of the state and private religious practices and magic. Sexuality was an important category of Roman religious thought.

The Dii Consentes were a council of deities in male—female pairs, to some extent Rome's equivalent to the Twelve Olympians of the Greeks.

Cicero held that the desire libido to procreate was "the seedbed of the republic", as it was the cause for the first form of social institution, marriage. Marriage produced children and in turn a "house" domus for family unity that was the building block of urban life. Many Roman religious festivals had an element of sexuality. The February Lupercalia , celebrated as late as the 5th century of the Christian era , included an archaic fertility rite. The Floralia featured nude dancing.

At certain religious festivals throughout April, prostitutes participated or were officially recognized. The connections among human reproduction, general prosperity, and the wellbeing of the state are embodied by the Roman cult of Venus , who differs from her Greek counterpart Aphrodite in her role as a mother of the Roman people through her half-mortal son Aeneas.

The iconography links deities of love and desire with military success and religious authority; Sulla adopted the title Epaphroditus , "Aphrodite's own", before he became a dictator. Cupid inspired desire; the imported god Priapus represented gross or humorous lust; Mutunus Tutunus promoted marital sex.

The god Liber understood as the "Free One" oversaw physiological responses during sexual intercourse. When a male assumed the toga virilis , "toga of manhood," Liber became his patron ; according to the love poets, he left behind the innocent modesty pudor of childhood and acquired the sexual freedom libertas to begin his course of love. Classical myths often deal with sexual themes such as gender identity , adultery , incest , and rape.

Roman art and literature continued the Hellenistic treatment of mythological figures having sex as humanly erotic and at times humorous, often removed from the religious dimension. The Latin word castitas , from which the English " chastity " derives, is an abstract noun denoting "a moral and physical purity usually in a specifically religious context", sometimes but not always referring to sexual chastity.

Incestum that which is "not castum " is an act that violates religious purity, [58] perhaps synonymous with that which is nefas , religiously impermissible. A Vestal's loss of castitas ruptured Rome's treaty with the gods pax deorum , [61] and was typically accompanied by the observation of bad omens prodigia. Prosecutions for incestum involving a Vestal often coincide with political unrest, and some charges of incestum seem politically motivated: When Clodius Pulcher dressed as a woman and intruded on the all-female rites of the Bona Dea , he was charged with incestum.

In Latin legal and moral discourse, stuprum is illicit sexual intercourse, translatable as "criminal debauchery" [65] or " sex crime ". In early Rome, stuprum was a disgraceful act in general, or any public disgrace, including but not limited to illicit sex.

The English word "rape" derives ultimately from the Latin verb rapio, rapere, raptus , "to snatch, carry away, abduct" the words rapt , rapture , and raptor still have the same meaning.

In Roman law, raptus or raptio meant primarily kidnapping or abduction; [69] the mythological "rape" of the Sabine women is a form of bride abduction in which sexual violation is a secondary issue.

Before the word "rape" acquired its modern strictly sexual meaning, the verb meant simply to seize something or someone by force; this usage persisted at least into the early 19th century. The "abduction" of an unmarried girl from her father's household in some circumstances was a matter of the couple eloping without her father's permission to marry. Rape in the English sense was more often expressed as stuprum committed through violence or coercion cum vi or per vim.

As laws pertaining to violence were codified toward the end of the Republic, raptus ad stuprum , "abduction for the purpose of committing a sex crime", emerged as a legal distinction.

Divine aid might be sought in private religious rituals along with medical treatments to enhance or block fertility, or to cure diseases of the reproductive organs. Votive offerings vota ; compare ex-voto in the form of breasts and penises have been found at healing sanctuaries. A private ritual under some circumstances might be considered "magic", an indistinct category in antiquity.

Aphrodisiacs , anaphrodisiacs , contraceptives , and abortifacients are preserved by both medical handbooks and magic texts; potions can be difficult to distinguish from pharmacology.

In his Book 33 De medicamentis , Marcellus of Bordeaux , a contemporary of Ausonius, [76] collected more than 70 sexually related treatments—for growths and lesions on the testicles and penis, undescended testicles , erectile dysfunction , hydrocele , "creating a eunuch without surgery", [77] ensuring a woman's fidelity, and compelling or diminishing a man's desire—some of which involve ritual procedures:. Keep the tail closed up in the palm of the same hand until it dies and touch the woman and her private parts when you have intercourse with her.

Its root, pounded to a paste and drunk in vinegar for ten consecutive days, has the astonishing effect of turning a boy into a eunuch. If the spermatic veins of an immature boy should become enlarged, split a young cherry-tree down the middle to its roots while leaving it standing, in such a way that the boy can be passed through the cleft. Then join the sapling together again and seal it with cow manure and other dressings, so that the parts that were split may intermingle within themselves more easily.

The speed with which the sapling grows together and its scar forms will determine how quickly the swollen veins of the boy will return to health. Marcellus also records which herbs [81] could be used to induce menstruation , or to purge the womb after childbirth or abortion; these herbs include potential abortifacients and may have been used as such.

Ancient theories of sexuality were produced by and for an educated elite. The extent to which theorizing about sex actually affected behavior is debatable, even among those who were attentive to the philosophical and medical writings that presented such views. This elite discourse, while often deliberately critical of common or typical behaviors, at the same time cannot be assumed to exclude values broadly held within the society. Lucretius , De rerum natura 4. The fourth book of Lucretius ' De rerum natura provides one of the most extended passages on human sexuality in Latin literature.

Yeats , describing the translation by Dryden , called it "the finest description of sexual intercourse ever written. His didactic poem De rerum natura is a presentation of Epicurean philosophy within the Ennian tradition of Latin poetry.

Epicureanism is both materialist and hedonic. The highest good is pleasure, defined as the absence of physical pain and emotional distress. Desires are ranked as those that are both natural and necessary, such as hunger and thirst; those that are natural but unnecessary, such as sex; and those that are neither natural nor necessary, including the desire to rule over others and glorify oneself. Lucretius treats male desire, female sexual pleasure, heredity, and infertility as aspects of sexual physiology.

In the Epicurean view, sexuality arises from impersonal physical causes without divine or supernatural influence. The onset of physical maturity generates semen, and wet dreams occur as the sexual instinct develops. The engorgement of the genitals creates an urge to ejaculate, coupled with the anticipation of pleasure. The body's response to physical attractiveness is automatic, and neither the character of the person desired nor one's own choice is a factor. With a combination of scientific detachment and ironic humor, Lucretius treats the human sex drive as muta cupido , "dumb desire", comparing the physiological response of ejaculation to the blood spurting from a wound.

Lucretius thus expresses an Epicurean ambivalence toward sexuality, which threatens one's peace of mind with agitation if desire becomes a form of bondage and torment, [98] but his view of female sexuality is less negative. Having analyzed the sex act, Lucretius then considers conception and what in modern terms would be called genetics. Both man and woman, he says, produce genital fluids that mingle in a successful procreative act. The characteristics of the child are formed by the relative proportions of the mother's "seed" to the father's.

A child who most resembles its mother is born when the female seed dominates the male's, and vice versa; when neither the male nor female seed dominates, the child will have traits of both mother and father evenly. Lucretius' purpose is to correct ignorance and to give the knowledge necessary for managing one's sex life rationally. In early Stoicism among the Greeks , sex was regarded as a good , if enjoyed between people who maintained the principles of respect and friendship; in the ideal society, sex should be enjoyed freely, without bonds of marriage that treated the partner as property.

Some Greek Stoics privileged same-sex relations between a man and a younger male partner [] [] see " Pederasty in ancient Greece ". However, stoics in the Roman Imperial era departed from the view of human beings as "communally sexual animals" [] and emphasized sex within marriage, [] which as an institution helped sustain social order. Roman-era Stoics such as Seneca and Musonius Rufus , both active about years after Lucretius, emphasized "sex unity" over the polarity of the sexes.

Dimorphism exists, according to Musonius, simply to create difference, and difference in turn creates the desire for a complementary relationship, that is, a couple who will bond for life for the sake of each other and for their children. Both Musonius and Seneca criticized the double standard , cultural and legal, that granted Roman men greater sexual freedom than women.

The argument, then, is not that sexual freedom is a human good, but that men as well as women should exercise sexual restraint. Musonius disapproved of same-sex relations because they lacked a procreative purpose.

Although Seneca is known primarily as a Stoic philosopher, he draws on Neopythagoreanism for his views on sexual austerity. The only justification for sex is reproduction within marriage.

The philosophical view of the body as a corpse that carries around the soul [] could result in outright contempt for sexuality: Sexual severity opened the Roman Stoics to charges of hypocrisy: Stoic sexual ethics are grounded in their physics and cosmology.

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University of Toronto students hosting 'epic sex club adventure'

Consent is sometimes non-verbal in these settings. If you see a dick sticking out of a hole, the man on the other side of the wall is giving non-verbal consent to have his dick sucked. While these common scenarios are obvious, other situations might not be so clear.

I bring one every time. Small drawstring shoulder bags are easy to check. If I hop in a sling, I slipknot my bag to the sling. A drawstring shoulder bag is my 1 sex party essential item.

If you lose your check bag ticket, some places make you wait until everyone has gotten their stuff before rummaging to find yours. This can delay your exodus by hours. Many venues will write your ticket number on your arm in permanent marker. Cum parties get sticky.

Whatever you do, try not to wreck the place. Someone has to clean it up. Sex clubs have expected mess. If you get lube all over a rubber mattress in a private sex room, wipe it off before leaving.

Someone else wants to use it after you. Rejection is never easy, but the reality is that there there are many guys playing. When it happens one-on-one, it stings. When it happens in a group, you can look see the guys who are interested and play with them. Play with the guys who click with you, or leave and go to the next sex party. There is always another one happening somewhere. Sure, you might not get caught, but someone invited you into their home. It can land you in jail.

Most venues have zero tolerance for drugs. If you're going to a private party, ask the host what the drug policy is. Some sex parties are sober-only.

Others welcome certain drugs like alcohol but not others. Some sex parties are oriented around specific drugs. Ask explicitly what will be happening at the party before you go. Someone you walk in and come face-to-face with your ex-boyfriend. Sometimes you walk in and come face-to-face with your current monogamous boyfriend fucking someone. Sometimes you walk in and come face-to-face with that guy you went on a date with and it was awful, and you never texted him back.

Have an exit strategy. Neither an official venue nor someone's apartment is the proper place to have an outburst. They may be having a bad high. Or they may be new and uncomfortable. This may be their first sex party. Whatever the cause, if someone appears to be upset, overdosing, disoriented, dehydrated, or otherwise in need of assistance, help them. Even in sleazy sex spaces, we are still people who need care.

Never abandon your humanity for the hunt. Help those who need it. If you can get a water bottle or better yet, a sports drink , hold on to it, check it in your locker, keep it in your bag, etc. Getting dosed on various substances like GHB is a real risk.

These risks are true of all illicit substances, regardless if you use them at a sex party or your grandmother's Sunday luncheon. It's important to know that these risks are real.

Many sex parties are drug-free. Many more are not. If you make sex parties a regular part of your weekends, you will encounter substances. The best sex happens with a sense of complicity — of being co-conspirators in the rich act of discovery.

Decide what to do between the two of you without drawing attention away from the fun. We enjoy these parties as escapes from inhibition and the rigamarole of disclosure. If that makes you uncomfortable, that's fine. These parties are not for everyone.

You are in charge of your own body. Most of my sex is anonymous. Take necessary steps to keep yourself healthy. Some parties are anonymous.

They are structured with the intent of keeping the identities of everyone present relatively secret. They may be lights-off, or they may require hoods or other gear that obscures features. In certain sex spaces, some consent is forfeited with the act of entering them. If there is no dominant, and he's there by his own volition, he's still forfeiting a degree of consent especially if he's blindfolded , but if he says stop, you must stop.

Many people including me enjoy sex that feels noncensual, even if it is. That is the core principle of kink: Many people enjoy group scenes that they call "gang rape," even though what they enjoy is nothing like rape, just rough group sex.

If there's very little discussion happening most sex parties will not have much talking , consent may be given non-verbally. If you step into a lights-out backroom, you forfeit consent and submit yourself to be touched by people you can't see by simply being there.

Understand these various and complex rules around consent and forfeiture when and where consent is given, when and where it is forfetied and respect the sex people enjoy. One of my favorite things to do is go to a sex club, hop in a sling, and put on a blindfold. Doing so hands over consent to strangers I can't see. The risk and thrill of this is awesome, and the mood would be ruined if someone bent down and whispered, "May I fuck you? If you put yourself in a similar situation, don't expect people to ask.

Know the rules of where and how you play. Kinky sex parties are awesome, but they get complicated. Hanky code wearing colored hankies in the back right or left pocket defining what kind of sex you like, and what role — dominant or submissive — you take gets tricky. Some kinky sex practices at some kinky sex parties require prior experience that guys there may not know if you have.

Having that discussion might be tough when the music is blaring. Take extra cleaning time. Clean twice or more. If there were, my life would be easier. You can control what it does to an extent, and that extent shortens with every passing hour. Bring a small, handheld douche, and perfect the art of discreet cleanings in bathrooms run from sink to stall and try not to get water everywhere. No problem — say thanks and dip out.

When you arrive at a sex party, the conversation should be kept to a minimum. By that point, you should reasonably know what to expect. Keep chatter to a minimum. Sex parties are awesome — especially when you take proper self-care needed to enjoy them. Get full-range testing for sexually-transmitted infections approximately ten days after. If you attend sex parties often, get tests done every three months at minimum, or even more frequently.

If you catch something, take a break until it clears up. This is part of being a responsible, sexually active adult. Start with small apartment groups. Work your way up. Photo above by Miguel Angel Reyes. See more of his photos from the Folsom Street Fair here. Let everyone keep playing, step outside, and find another sex party; get in your car, hop on the subway, call an Uber, and arrange your plans somewhere else.

Or go home and get sleep. If there is one, sign up. Some regular sex parties at private spaces also have email or text lists to keep guys in the loop. Seeing something hot and hardcore — or better yet, being part of it — is part of the fun.

Sex parties make you drop inhibitions, since they require a degree of inhibition to attend them. It's OK to get scared, but when the fear pops up, play with it. See how long you can hold out. You might surprise yourself. You must be a member to attend events but one day memberships are available.

See site for details. International sex club for gay or bi men 18 years of age or older. Parties are held on the 1st Saturday of each month at The Crew Club. Membership is not required to attend. No membership or cover required.

The only rule is be nice! Billed as the nation's largest Bear event. Hosted at Town Danceboutique. Please see site for details. In addition to a healthy schedule of annual events, they also host a weekly gathering each Wednesday at Windows above Dupont Italian Kitchen in DC. Nightly drag shows start at 10pm. Town is set to close in July Located at Benning Rd. However, they often host select nights for various aspects of the alternative cultures.

Gay male bath house on 14th Street 14th St. The last of its kind in DC. Please install Yapsody App for Updates: Held the first Saturday of each month. By far one of Baltimore's best Gothic-Industrial dance nights. Underground Band Showcase hosted by Flock Baltimore. They maintain a monthly schedule of theme events for a variety of tastes.

This includes special nights for the Fetish crowd as well. Touch of Flavor ATouchofFlavor. With an aggressive campaign in mainstream media, they offer an impressive outreach program for the scene. The Baltimore Playhouse BaltimorePlayhouse. Located at Washington Blvd. Offering on-premise events for various cultures of the alternative community, they boast a 12, sq. Also see Fetlife Group. Baltimore's premier on-premise lifestyle club N.

Located about 40 min. All members are 21 or older. Drac's Ball represents Philly's longest running tradition for the Goth-Industrial Scene semi-annual grand event for the Philly Underground.

Votex offers top end alternative music in some of Philly's most recognized venues. This gives inquisitive souls an opportunity to explore in a friendly, no-pressure environment.

Prior RSVP is required. Available 6pmpm for private functions. Parties are Off-Premise, usually hosted in a hotel. The socials are on the 2nd Sunday and 4th Wednesday. The discussion meeting dates will vary depending on the host's schedule. Hosted by Passional Boutique, they also serve as a key resource for the Philly scene. A full service bar with mixers is provided but all alcohol is BYOB. Dinner is served nightly. Suites are available for weekend stay reservations required.

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